I feel like I'm fighting with myself. My circadian rhythm, at the very least. I really want to be a morning person. But no, no way. I'm a night person. I could quite easily work from about two in the afternoon until well past two in the morning, accomplishing Herculean tasks, keeping abreast of my to-do lists, exercising my way to an Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet body. In reality, what happens -- I try. I get up with my kid and husband and get them off to start their days around 7, feeling like I'm hungover (I'm not, trust me, my pancreas and thyroid are already shot, I need to keep my liver going a while longer), I get them off to school and work, and then I head back to bed promising myself that today will be the day that I do not fall back to sleep. Oh, if only. Nope. Ain't happening. Within a short time, I'm back sleeping again. Usually until about, oh say, 11. Then I get up, have some brunch, get a shower, check email, maybe run an errand or two, then it's off to get the kid from school. By the time we get home, it's four. By this time, I'm ready to go, I'm primed, I'm pedal to the metal, full bore, coal-fired ready to work. Which gives me approximately an hour, before I need to start dinner. And of course, because I am Mom, I want and need to spend time with the boy and talk about his day (I'm also a news junkie, which is massively time-consuming).
After Spousetacular gets home, and the dinner dishes are stowed in the dishwasher, lunches packed, and household discussions attended to, I sit with Spousetacular and knit while we watch TV. ( For the past couple nights, I've come back to my office to write, which is totally throwing Spousetacular for one.) The boy goes to bed between 9:30 and 10, and then Spousetacular follows soon after. This is when life really becomes problematic for me...'cause now I'm not tired (hear the whiny toddler, because apparently this has been my issue since infancy). Since we have a house that is not constructed to allow each resident an individual pod, I'm kind of stuck. I can't go exercise in the basement; it's under the bedroom. Can't write - office is attached to the bedroom and there's no door. Can't go to the grocery store, it's not open (and I'm a total paranoid freak when it comes to night errands -- only serial killers, muggers and heroin addicts are out after dark). So, I'm stuck.
One thing I do get done: reading. I read constantly. I'm just about finished with J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy. That one actually would keep me up at night if I weren't awake already, and miraculously, this morning as well. It's excellent. If you haven't read it, be warned: This ain't Harry Potter. It's a dark story that mucks around in the dirt of every day life. But I digress; this post was about my not being on the same rhythm as my family.
I wonder if I force a change to my daily routine, how that will affect my writing? I have noticed that I feel a lot more creative and frankly, shit flows better, when I do my weird sleep during the day thing. The problem is, I just don't get done what I want. I need a change of time zone. In Fiji, I'm a morning a person.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
About Me
If you're going to invest your time reading my blog, I think that entitles you to know a bit about me...
THE PERSONAL BITS:
I am 46 years old, so I'm kind in that stage where I think I know what I want to be when I grow up. Actually, I think I've been repressing who I want to be for so long and finally that person is just done with the repression. It's time to overthrow the dictator whose been walking around in this skin for years.
Born in Massachusetts (Well, what do you know, I spelled that correctly the first time!), I have no memory of that because my family moved to the Chicago area when I was only months old. I, therefore, consider myself a Midwesterner, and I have the lack of accent to prove it. I loved the Midwest. Not because I had an idyllic childhood, I didn't. But I loved it because it was what I knew and where I was comfortable, most of the time. I have lived in the following places, maybe you've seen me there:
Arlington Heights, Buffalo Grove, Champaign and Urbana, Illinois
San Jose and Los Altos, California
Naples and Bonita Springs, Florida
Matthews, North Carolina
Suwanee, Georgia
Bradford, West Yorkshire, England
I am and have been married to my husband for nearly 17 years. We make it work.
We have one son who is 15 years old. Being a mother is a terrifyingly difficult job. I always think I'm doing it badly.
We have a dog, a black Labrador Retriever. She's my shadow. I should have named her that.
Education:
Bachelor of Arts in English and Rhetoric, University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana
Certificate of Legal Technology, Wm. Rainey Harper College
Graduate Certificate in Teaching, University of North Carolina at Charlotte
Professional Experience:
Numerous law offices as a Paralegal, Legal Secretary, and Conveyancing Assistant
Legal Assistant at the US subsidiary of a Japanese electronics manufacturer (probably not the one you're thinking of)
Contracts Manager and HR Administrator for a mid-size software development firm
Office Manager, Legal Services Director, HR Manager for property management firm
Retail sales and instructor at a yarn shop, bookstore, clothing stores, and Sears (doesn't everyone work there at some point?)
Teacher, grade level content lead, 7th grade Language Arts and Social Studies
What I'm doing now:
I started by taking a year off from teaching when the family unit moved. Spousetacular, as I like to call him, really and truly doesn't want me to go back to teaching because, for me, teaching is all-consuming. I don't take weekends or summers off. I work during Winter and Spring Break. I work after school, come home, make dinner, and go back to working on teaching. I work while I do the laundry. I work when I'm feverish and vomiting ill. Needless to say, I put excessive time into teaching.
In my heart of hearts, in the most cliche' of ways as I have just demonstrated, I have always wanted to be a writer. More about why I haven't written professionally later...suffice to say, that in the back of mind, there is always a narrative flow. So, when we moved and Spousetacular said, "Do what you want, write that book." How could I pass that up? So right now, I'm doing two things, well three, things:
1. I am writing a book.
2. I am writing this blog, which should help me build my platform.
3. I am editing a book for a friend and former colleague, which should improve my writing, and hopefully can be spun off into a movie or television show.
Number 3 was a big surprise and a completely serendipitous event. I'm enjoying the process, though I don't spend nearly enough time editing daily as I should, and therefore, am wearing the shroud of shame quite frequently. But this week's big goal is to learn to schedule my time more wisely and devote more time to writing and editing. Wish me luck.
THE PERSONAL BITS:
I am 46 years old, so I'm kind in that stage where I think I know what I want to be when I grow up. Actually, I think I've been repressing who I want to be for so long and finally that person is just done with the repression. It's time to overthrow the dictator whose been walking around in this skin for years.
Born in Massachusetts (Well, what do you know, I spelled that correctly the first time!), I have no memory of that because my family moved to the Chicago area when I was only months old. I, therefore, consider myself a Midwesterner, and I have the lack of accent to prove it. I loved the Midwest. Not because I had an idyllic childhood, I didn't. But I loved it because it was what I knew and where I was comfortable, most of the time. I have lived in the following places, maybe you've seen me there:
Arlington Heights, Buffalo Grove, Champaign and Urbana, Illinois
San Jose and Los Altos, California
Naples and Bonita Springs, Florida
Matthews, North Carolina
Suwanee, Georgia
Bradford, West Yorkshire, England
I am and have been married to my husband for nearly 17 years. We make it work.
We have one son who is 15 years old. Being a mother is a terrifyingly difficult job. I always think I'm doing it badly.
We have a dog, a black Labrador Retriever. She's my shadow. I should have named her that.
Education:
Bachelor of Arts in English and Rhetoric, University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana
Certificate of Legal Technology, Wm. Rainey Harper College
Graduate Certificate in Teaching, University of North Carolina at Charlotte
Professional Experience:
Numerous law offices as a Paralegal, Legal Secretary, and Conveyancing Assistant
Legal Assistant at the US subsidiary of a Japanese electronics manufacturer (probably not the one you're thinking of)
Contracts Manager and HR Administrator for a mid-size software development firm
Office Manager, Legal Services Director, HR Manager for property management firm
Retail sales and instructor at a yarn shop, bookstore, clothing stores, and Sears (doesn't everyone work there at some point?)
Teacher, grade level content lead, 7th grade Language Arts and Social Studies
What I'm doing now:
I started by taking a year off from teaching when the family unit moved. Spousetacular, as I like to call him, really and truly doesn't want me to go back to teaching because, for me, teaching is all-consuming. I don't take weekends or summers off. I work during Winter and Spring Break. I work after school, come home, make dinner, and go back to working on teaching. I work while I do the laundry. I work when I'm feverish and vomiting ill. Needless to say, I put excessive time into teaching.
In my heart of hearts, in the most cliche' of ways as I have just demonstrated, I have always wanted to be a writer. More about why I haven't written professionally later...suffice to say, that in the back of mind, there is always a narrative flow. So, when we moved and Spousetacular said, "Do what you want, write that book." How could I pass that up? So right now, I'm doing two things, well three, things:
1. I am writing a book.
2. I am writing this blog, which should help me build my platform.
3. I am editing a book for a friend and former colleague, which should improve my writing, and hopefully can be spun off into a movie or television show.
Number 3 was a big surprise and a completely serendipitous event. I'm enjoying the process, though I don't spend nearly enough time editing daily as I should, and therefore, am wearing the shroud of shame quite frequently. But this week's big goal is to learn to schedule my time more wisely and devote more time to writing and editing. Wish me luck.
Strapped in, buckled up, ready to go.
So, after years of careers that circled professional writing, and the encouragement (needling, pushing, pestering) of certain family members and friends, I'm taking on a blog. I have to admit, I haven't felt this much fear, intimidation, and sheer panic in many a year...Frankly, I haven't put any of my creative writing out into the literary world since college, admittedly in the late 1980s. There was once a time when creativity, especially writing, was part of my daily life. Then I ran smack into a responsible adulthood and my forays into creativity were relegated to realm of someday.
Apparently, someday has arrived. I am not truly ready to go as the title of this post states, but I am making that commitment to give this blog a chunk of time, every day. I have a friend who blogs regularly as PractiGal, and she has resolved that this year she is going to spend 15 minutes per day writing. I hope to do at least that much (she works outside the home, I currently do not). Now that I have put that in writing, I guarantee that I will mentally bludgeon myself into a mass of self-loathing pulp if I don't keep up with this blog. Trust me, no one is harder on me than I am -- I have decades of experience being my own worst critic.
I'm not sure where this blog will head topic wise. It may just end up being a sort of keyboard confessional. I have a hermitesquely private spouse and son for whom the phrase keyboard confessional raises paranoia to oxygen rare heights. As of this point, I'm not sure where I'll go next with this blog. If you read the "About Me" post, you'll see that I have earned several degrees, held a number of positions with various organizations, and lived on two continents and in five states. So, while maybe the phrase "Been There, Done That" is cliche', I actually think it's appropriate for me.
Therefore, with no further delay, I am now being there and doing that, again.
Apparently, someday has arrived. I am not truly ready to go as the title of this post states, but I am making that commitment to give this blog a chunk of time, every day. I have a friend who blogs regularly as PractiGal, and she has resolved that this year she is going to spend 15 minutes per day writing. I hope to do at least that much (she works outside the home, I currently do not). Now that I have put that in writing, I guarantee that I will mentally bludgeon myself into a mass of self-loathing pulp if I don't keep up with this blog. Trust me, no one is harder on me than I am -- I have decades of experience being my own worst critic.
I'm not sure where this blog will head topic wise. It may just end up being a sort of keyboard confessional. I have a hermitesquely private spouse and son for whom the phrase keyboard confessional raises paranoia to oxygen rare heights. As of this point, I'm not sure where I'll go next with this blog. If you read the "About Me" post, you'll see that I have earned several degrees, held a number of positions with various organizations, and lived on two continents and in five states. So, while maybe the phrase "Been There, Done That" is cliche', I actually think it's appropriate for me.
Therefore, with no further delay, I am now being there and doing that, again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)